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  • Writer's pictureAmit Shankar

Oops, He Did It Again!

CEOs, business and political leaders, and even Rahul Gandhi must hire a speechwriter for crucial speeches to avoid the risk of nationwide humiliation.

The nation was expecting some focused pointers from Rahul and some solutions on Manipur. It was a comeback moment for the Congress party, showcasing to the nation, especially the motley assorted group of opposition parties, that he was the only deserving leader. But what did he do?

He opened his speech with a weird analogy of his ability to run for 8-10 km daily and how it was his ‘Ahankar.’ Never knew that running 8 to 10 km could make someone ‘Ahankari.’ He then went on to elaborate upon his knee problem. Are you serious? Buy a bottle of Sandhi Sudha Tel, and stop wasting the nation's money on your sob story. Taking his knee pain to a new level, he stated how he fought it, accepted it, and how his knee -problem made him more humble, turning him from a wolf to an ant.

Wolf to an ant?

What kind of analogy is that?

And how can a wolf turn not an ant? But as he has the knack of turning potatoes into gold, this metamorphosis is undoubtedly possible.

Forty percent of the speech time was devoted to his process of self-introspection. Dude, do you think anyone, apart from your sycophants, is keen to listen to your process of evolution?

This middle-aged angry man also confessed to having no idea about the objectivity of his Bharat Jodi Yatra. Some confession, eh? He did not stop here and delved into drawing some far-fetched parallel between the speech being India and How Mother India was murdered in Manipur. The premise of his equation is speech = India = Murder of Mother India in Manipur. But How? It will take at least a Ramanujan to decipher it.

Just when you assumed it could get no worst, he delivered a flying kiss to the women MPs on the treasury benches. Are you a rock star in front of cheering and fainting fans? Flying kiss in the parliament? That too after the wink and hug fiasco? Who are your advisors? Priyanka Chaturvedi, another enlightened MP from the Shiv Sena defended his Flying Kiss action as a mark of love that the BJP, a party soaked in hate, was making an issue out of. Really? Ms. Chaturvedi, how would you react if I offered you a Flying Kiss?

Dear Rahul, please learn to differentiate between a college crowd and the Indian parliament.

Not only are you conceited, naive, and self-entitled, but also a disobedient student who refuses to learn. May 2024 teach you another lesson.

- Amit Shankar

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